Are you an introvert, extrovert, ambivert or omnivert?

And are you sure?

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A few years back, when everyone was taking the Myers-Briggs personality test* and freaking out at how accurate the results seemed, I sent a link to the clan in England. We all came out as one kind of introvert or another.

No great surprise. When I was a kid we only had dinner together once a week, and then we’d all bring a book or Sunday newspaper supplement to the table so that we could eat in peace. When we get together these days there tends to be a packed schedule of games involved (Bananagrams; Boggle; charades; Pictionary; gin rummy; golf; UNO; ring-on-a-string), since following rules is safer than going rogue with conversation. On the occasion we do have to have an important conversation, it’s accompanied by a walk so brisk it’s practically a sprint, because we’re all conflict-avoidant – and our definition of conflict is broad.

Ironically, my brother and I have both wound up writing books about communication – he as a professor of education and me as a journalist. Maybe we’re both still trying to wrap our heads around how communication works, picking it apart like a nerd with a circuit board.

On my book tour for The Introvert’s Guide to Leaving the House, I spoke to quite a few people, including radio hosts and journalists, who’d always considered themselves to be extroverted, but as they got older were having wondering if that were really so.

Introversion/extroversion is a personality trait, but there are some reasons people might have mis-read themselves as extroverts for years:

Sometimes, it’s the very nature of our job that can fool ourselves and others into thinking that we’re extroverted. Radio hosts, journalists, public speakers and performers all seem outgoing when they’re in their element, but if you think about it, they’re either having conversations that are more like rehearsed choreography (radio hosts, journalists), or they’re talking AT people and not WITH them (public speakers, performers).

Sometimes, as we get older, we are more comfortable spending time alone without FOMO. We’re also more comfortable with who are, so we have less of a constant need for feedback.

Sometimes, we might have toned down the partying and realise we’re not who we though we were. My friend Emma Gilmour, a sober coach, thinks that when many of her clients quit alcohol they suddenly realise that they no longer wish to dance on tables and that perhaps they are an introvert.

I think that another personality type, the ‘omnivert’, could just be a pissed introvert. An omnivert is someone who fluctuates wildly between introverted and extroverted, depending on the situation. Or are they just sober or drunk?

Then there’s the ‘ambivert’ – someone who has a balance of introverted and extroverted traits. An ambivert is bang in the middle of what might be a spectrum. Boring.

Sticking to introverts and extroverts, the best way to gauge whether you’re one or the other is to ask yourself whether your energetic battery is drained or recharged around groups of people. Or, to put it another way, whether your battery is charged or drained by being alone.

Does the idea of a party – the possibility of new information, new gossip, new friends, belly laughs – excite you? Or does it have you plotting your reasons for regretfully cancelling? If the latter, you’re an introvert.

While the concept of introversion and extroversion was first introduced by Carl Jung in the 1920s, it was Susan Cain’s 2012 book Quiet that more recently brought the idea to a popular audience.

Previously, people had often just been introverted without knowing or vocalising it. Now they might ‘identify’ as introverts in the same way that someone might identify as a ‘they’ or a ‘furry’. Last time I was on a dating app, I saw many people signal – alongside their smoking and drinking preferences – that they came up with a capital ‘I’ on the Myer Briggs test, or ‘type 5’ on their Enneagram test. Others would highlight that they were an ‘empath’, a ‘HIP’ (highly intuitive person) or an ‘HSP’ (highly sensitive person). I am unsure as to whether this self-identification could lead to romantic interest, but anyway.

Okay, now let’s get to the business end of this post. If you think you’re an introvert, you can further drill down into what kind of introvert you are, by using my own test, imaginatively titled ‘What kind of introvert are you?’

Let me know which one you are, in the comments. It’s possible you could be a combination of a few.

Lastly, if you’re in Melbourne, on Saturday August 9th, I’ll be having a little afternoon soiree in Northcote. I’m teaming up with Good Question – a regular event run by RRR’s Simon Winkler and Lauren Taylor, which aims to give creative people better tools for interviewing or having difficult conversations. It’s a mere $11. Come along!

* Wikipedia comes out swinging: “The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a self-report questionnaire that makes pseudoscientific claims…”